Unforgivable
by darklight1601
Summary: When Hinata does the unforgivable she loses her rank, her family, and her friends. But is everything really as it appears? Help can come from the most unlikely of places; and people. Not Hinata/Sai, side Naruto/Sai
1. Unforgivable

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any song lyrics used. If someone wants to give me Sai, though, I'd be more than willing to take him off your hands.

Okay, this story is my first Naruto fanfic and focusses mostly on Hinata with some Sai on the side. It's canon up until around Pain's attack on Konoha, then it deviates. So all the fun stuff with Danzou Hokage in the manga right now never happened. Yay!

This story has no real pairing, but there is some mentioning of Naruto/Sai, so if boy on boy really bothers you, you probably shouldn't read it. Parts of this will also be pretty dark, so once again, read at your own risk. That said, enjoy!

Warnings: language

* * *

_No matter what I've done  
Or is done to me  
Nothing's unforgivable  
Or unable to be set free_

_-_**Plumb, _Unforgivable_**

* * *

"Hyuuga Hinata. You know why you have been summoned here today?"

"H-hai. Hai, Tsunade-sama."

"You have been charged with the heinous act of selling out your teammates for your own self-preservation. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

The dark-haired girl was trembling so badly, the small shake of her head was nearly missed. She was nervous beyond words, kneeling alone in the middle of that big room, the council's eyes all on her, glaring, accusing, her father's included. And then Tsunade-sama speaking in that authoritative voice filled with disgust, her expression angrier than Hinata had ever seen. To hell with nervous, she was genuinely terrified. This was harder than she had thought it would be.

"It has been discussed and concluded that this act of betrayal is unforgivable. You will be stripped of all ninja status and confined within Konoha's borders. You will wear a tracking device that will allow us to know your whereabouts at all times. If you are caught attempting to leave the village or caught doing anything that breaks the law, no matter how minor, you will be immediately and irreversibly sent to prison. Is this understood?"

Hinata nodded, not trusting herself to speak. With shaking fingers, she untied the hitai-ite from around her neck, very gently placing it on the ground in front of her, willing herself not to cry no matter how much she wanted to. The tracking device, a collar of sorts, was placed around her neck and locked there, only to be removed by the Hokage herself. The urge to cry just got stronger, but she shoved it down. It would be all right, she just had to stay strong.

"Dismissed!"

Without a backward glance, the girl scurried from the room, forcing deep, calming breaths into her body. The first part was over. She wasn't done entirely, but at least the first part was finished. She immediately dashed from the Hokage tower and made it to the Hyuuga compound in record time. She literally ran to her room, ignoring the looks of abhorrence sent her way by anyone she passed. She was used to not being particularly liked by her family, but this was completely new.

She entered her room, closing the door tightly behind her. She wanted to collapse onto her soft inviting bed and just sleep it all away, but she knew that wouldn't be happening. She had to hurry, she didn't have much time. Dragging a bag from her closet, she stuffed some clothes, hygiene products, weapons, and rations into it, as if preparing for a mission. Then she grabbed some personal items, a few scrolls, a small book of poetry she loved, a very worn-out teddy bear she had slept with since she was a child, and a picture of Team 8. Lastly, she carefully lifted a small gold, heart-shaped locket from her dresser, opening it and smiling at the pictures of her parents when they were young, barely older than her. It had been her mother's, and it was her most precious treasure. She rarely wore it, for fear of breaking or losing it, but now she knew she would need the strength it could bring her. She clasped it delicately around her neck, tucking it safely beneath her clothing where it rested against her chest, not far from her own heart. Then she sat on her bed to wait.

After a few minutes a servant knocked softly on her door, telling her that her father wished to speak with her. Standing once again and doing her best to steel her nerves, she lifted the bag onto her back and made her way to her way to the second part. She had to stay strong.

That was easier said than done. Sitting in front of her father and the elders, all giving her those nasty looks, she felt herself begin to shake again, silently willing them to hurry so the second part would be over.

"Hinata," her father's strong voice suddenly rang out, making her flinch slightly, "you have brought shame to the Hyuuga clan. To do something as despicable as this is unforgivable and cannot be overlooked. For the disgrace you have brought, you shall no longer carry the Hyuuga name. You are to leave this compound and never return. You are no longer welcome here."

If the situation had been different, Hinata would have been amused at the elaborate way to say she was disowned without ever actually using the word itself. As it was, she nodded as best she could, eyes fixed hard on the ground rather than look at her father. "Hai."

"It is only because of your previous position as clan heiress that your Byakuugan will not be sealed. You should be grateful for this honor."

Grateful didn't even begin to cut it. She was far beyond grateful; without her Byakuugan, she'd be nearly worthless as a ninja. Even when moves didn't actually require the kekkai genkai, she had incorporated it a lot. "Hai. Arigatou gozaimasu."

The elders filed out of the room, leaving her alone with her father. She stood to leave what was once her home, when she heard him say softly behind her, "I am very sorry, Hinata. I never wanted anything like this to happen."

She shut her eyes hard, willing away the tightening pain in her chest. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, knew that he really was sorry, that he truly cared at least enough to feel bad about this. She knew it was because of him she was allowed to keep her Byakuugan. That just made it worse. "No, Outo-san, it is I who should be apologizing. I'm sorry I've failed you." And she slipped out of the room and away from the compound, the second part now done. This was much harder than she had thought it would be.

Forcing away the second wave of tears, she slowly trudged down the street, no particular destination in mind. She was waiting for the third part, and this one scared her. The first two she had known exactly what was going to happen, had been able to anticipate it and prepare herself. But this one... she had no idea what would happen with this one. It could go so many different ways... She was truly afraid.

Be it good luck or misfortune, she didn't have to wait long for the third part to begin. Everyone had found out what she had done. Ninja and civilian alike glared at her in some form or another as she passed, but she did all she could to ignore them. Until she ran into who she feared meeting the most. She turned the corner and there, right in front of her, were her friends. All of the Konoha eleven with the exception of herself and Neji were leaving from where they'd apparently just enjoyed barbecue. Just the snippet of conversation she caught before they noticed her, let her know that they were celebrating Kiba and Shino's safe return. The pain in her chest tightened further at this, but at the same time she was happy that her boys were so cared about. Then they noticed her standing there.

The happy expressions dropped from their faces instantly. What met her were cold expressions, though they varied by person. Most of them looked angry, disgusted like everyone else, but some of them looked more... pitying, though she didn't understand why. She averted her eyes rather quickly to the ground, her bangs covering them from sight. She didn't know what to do or say, so she stayed quiet, waiting.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face here," Ino snapped, breaking the heavy silence.

Hinata opened her mouth but couldn't think of any way to respond to that, so it closed again. _Don't cry. Whatever you do, just don't cry_.

"She's not 'showing her face here', Ino, she's just on the street," Shikamaru said in his usual, bored voice. Hinata's spirit lifted ever so slightly at his words, though she knew they weren't meant to defend her, he was just pointing out the facts. Even so, that he was willing to be that impartial made her happy.

There was a scoff, followed by Tenten grumbling, "She shouldn't be allowed on the street," while Sakura made an affirmative noise to agree with her.

No one came to her defense on that one, and Hinata certainly wasn't going to defend herself. If she had been in their place she would be acting the same, and she knew it. She wasn't hypocritical enough to think otherwise.

"Maybe we should just go," Chouji said softly, not particularly wanting to get into any conflicts. "Just ignore her, she's not bothering anyone."

"She's bothering me by being here," Ino corrected hotly.

"Enough!"

Everyone looked at the orange-clad blond in surprise, even Hinata lifted her head. _Naruto-kun..._

"Chouji's right. What she did is unforgivable. Anyone who betrays their teammates, their _friends_ like that is the lowest form of scum and isn't worth wasting your time and anger on. So don't talk to her, don't even look at her. Just ignore her."

The pain in her chest nearly suffocated her now. She may not have had a childish crush on Naruto anymore, but he was still a dear friend. More than that, he was still practically her idol, the person she wanted to be like, the person she admired most in the world. To hear him say that about her hurt more than she could ever express. And the worst part was that he was completely right.

"We should go," Lee insisted, re-voicing what Chouji had suggested before. There was a general mumbling of consensus, but when they turned to leave, Shino and Kiba didn't follow. The others all gave them looks, but no one said anything, choosing to let them handle things how they wanted. Once they were gone, Hinata found herself facing just her two teammates, refusing to meet their eyes. Silence hung thickly in the air until Kiba finally broke it with a growled, "We need to talk."

She nodded, not surprised, and Kiba roughly grabbed her arm, practically dragging her to an empty training ground, Shino right behind. Now off the crowded street, they were genuinely alone. Hinata braced herself for whatever would come. She expected a full verbal assault, of course, and if they decided to lash out at her physically she wouldn't do anything to stop them. They deserved it for how she'd hurt them.

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Hinata subconsciously played with the hem of her shirt, waiting, wanting them to make the first move. After what seemed like forever, Kiba finally said in a broken voice, torn with anger and betrayal, "How could you do this to us?"

She couldn't answer. She wanted to, she really did, but she was afraid of what might come out. If she tried to talk now she may say something she couldn't afford to, so she kept her head down, silent.

"We're your team, Hinata," Kiba continued, shaking now as he spoke. "We've been together for years. We love you. We would do anything for you. How could you sell us out to the enemy?"

Hinata shut her eyes, not sure how much more she could take.

"We know you're not as strong as we are, Hinata. We never expected you to be. But we never thought you'd be such a coward that... If you were that fucking afraid you should never have become a ninja in the first place!"

She bit the inside of her mouth to keep from speaking. _Please, just hit me or something. Do something. I can't take this guilt anymore, please..._

Kiba didn't hit her. He turned abruptly and dashed away, unable to face her any longer. She wearily watched him go then glanced hesitantly at the remaining boy, waiting for him to speak now. She figured that like Kiba, he would be angry, wouldn't show it as much, but it would be there. What she didn't expect was to see tears streaming silently down his face from underneath dark glasses. He was crying? No, Shino didn't cry.

"Shino-kun..." she whispered, finding her voice for the first time.

The bug-boy looked away momentarily before bringing his gaze back to her. When he spoke his voice was even but so laced with hurt she could barely take it. "I am not angry with you, Hinata-chan. I feel betrayed that you put yourself before us. That you would allow us to be hurt so that you would not. I care for you and Kiba deeply; you are the only people outside of my clan besides Kurenai-sensei I have such feelings for. I would gladly die for both of you. Kiba would gladly die for both of us. That's what being a team means... I'm hurt that you broke our team. That you betrayed the trust Kiba and I put in you. But I cannot find it in me to be angry with you."

_No_, she thought desperately, _that's even worse. Be angry for what I did, please. Yell at me, hit me, just please don't make that face anymore. _It hurt her more than words could express. Shino was finally showing emotion so openly, finally letting his feelings come through, and there was nothing but sorrow and pain. Pain because of her. It was hard to breathe.

Shino suddenly closed the distance between them, and she patiently waited for the blow to come. It did, but certainly not the way she was expecting. Her heart took a direct hit, when Shino wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against him in a fierce hug, burying his face into her shoulder. "I can't ever forgive you for what you did, Hinata. But I still love you. Please remember that."

Hinata wanted to die. She couldn't take anymore, she couldn't do this. She wasn't strong enough for this... but she had to be. So much depended on her. She had to be strong.

Shino pulled back and gently, lovingly caressed the side of her face, tucking a long strand of dark hair behind her ear one last time. "Goodbye, Hinata-chan."

Hinata waited until he was gone before allowing her legs to give out under her. She curled into herself, hugging her knees tightly to her chest, rocking back and forth. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry..._

Unable to stay in that spot any longer, she got up and walked away, once again having no real destination, just unable to stay on those training grounds. Not after seeing Kiba so angry there and Shino so _destroyed_. She understood their actions, knew why each reacted the way they did. Kiba was deeply hurt and lashed out in anger and aggression, the same way he always did, but at least he'd be okay. She was worried about Shino. He was hurt too, obviously, but even more so than Kiba was. Shino had said himself, she and Kiba were the only ones outside of his clan he truly cared for beyond casual friendship. To put faith in someone, to love them, for what was the first time and then have it shoved back in your face... She couldn't begin to imagine how much Shino must be hurt. Hurt by her. _Don't cry, don't cry..._

She ended up on top of the Hokage monument somehow, sitting rather dejectedly on the Fourth's head, shivering in the late autumn chill. The third part was over, right? All three parts of the first stage were done. The hardest part was done. She knew it wouldn't get better, quite the contrary her struggle was just beginning, but at least the hardest part was through. At least that's what she thought until, "Hinata-sama."

Her blood froze at the sound of his voice. How could she have forgotten him? The third part wasn't over, she still had one more person to deal with. "N-neji-niisan." She didn't turn but felt him slowly approach her from behind. She was afraid to face him but tried to gage his mood from the feel of his chakra. It didn't help, he was obviously masking his emotions well, as always. So with a resolute deep breath, she looked over her shoulder to find he had come quite close. She peered up at him, catching a glare from the setting sun. His face was cold and blank, not helping her figure out his thoughts at all. She had a pretty good idea, though. "You're angry with me."

She felt mildly surprised when his eyebrow quirked and he said evenly, "No. Not with you." He took a seat next to her, carefully making sure there was enough space between them so they weren't touching in any way.

"I-I don't unders-stand."

"I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with myself."

"W-what?"

Neji pursed his lips, staring straight ahead rather than look at her. "You are who you are, Hinata-sama. You haven't changed. The problem was that I had allowed myself to think you had changed somewhat. You fooled me quite well. I truly believed with everything in me that you had grown stronger, that you were a good ninja. I was proud of your accomplishments, how well you were doing. I never would have thought that I had actually been right at the beginning."

The beginning? The only beginning she could think of was before their relationship had started to mend. Before the Chuunin exams. And then she realized what it was he was saying. He was saying when he had thought of her as weak, useless, pathetic before the Chuunin exams, that was when he had been right. And that meant that all the effort both of them had gone through to rebuild the friendship from their childhood was lost. She had lost the respect she had finally managed to gain from him. She had lost everything. "N-niisan--"

"I don't believe you have any right to call me that anymore," he interrupted, voice still completely bland. "After all, you are no longer a Hyuuga. Even for you, what you did was unforgivable." He stood brushing his pants off idly before nodding politely to her. "Take care, Hinata-sama," and he took off down the side of the mountain.

She stared after him, breath catching uncomfortably in her throat. He was gone. She had lost him again. No, not just him. Everyone. She had lost everything she had ever worked for her entire life. She was alone.

The tears finally broke through with a vengeance. She curled up on her side, burying her face in her arms, clutching her mother's locket for whatever comfort it could give her, wishing once again she could just die. Why her? Why? She wasn't strong enough for this. Why did it have to be her? She let the sobs overtake her, soon followed by the darkness of a fitful sleep. This was harder than she could have ever possibly imagined.

* * *

I know that's a little confusing and you aren't real sure what's going on yet. Things will start to explain themselves better in time.

Review and let me know what you think!


	2. See Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any song lyrics used. If someone wants to give me Sai, though, I'd be more than willing to take him off your hands.

Warnings: language

* * *

_The sacrifice of hiding in a lie  
The sacrifice is never knowing _

_Why I stay  
When you just push away  
No matter what you see  
You're still so blind to me_

-**Linkin Park, _P5hng Me A*wy_**

* * *

When Hinata woke from her miserable, restless sleep, she became quickly aware of two things. One, night had come in full force and it was pitch black around her, the only light coming from the village below. And two, she was freezing. Apparently falling asleep on top of a windy mountain with just a jacket when it was nearly cold enough to snow wasn't the best idea. She'd be lucky if she didn't get sick. Not that she really cared.

_No, I mustn't think like that. I know it hurts, but I have to stay strong. It will all be over eventually, until then I need to focus. I can't let myself wallow in my own self-pity._

Feeling somewhat more determined, ready to now begin the second stage, she made her way down from the mountain and back into the village. A precursory glance at her watch told her it was nearing eleven at night, and she mentally cursed. All stores and restaurants, with the exception of bars, would be closed by now. Then again, she didn't have much money anyway, she should probably preserve it for emergencies and live off the rations she had packed until she managed to find a job.

With a sigh and still no destination, she wandered vaguely throughout the practically empty streets, not wanting to sit down lest her brain actually start thinking about the day's events. Passing by a nearly empty shinobi bar, she froze upon hearing her name. Quick as a wink, she crouched down by the open doorway where she could listen to the conversation, discreetly activating her Byakuugan to look through the walls. She saw a group of Jounin, recognising them all immediately from working with them in the past at least once, mostly multiple times. They were all drinking heavily, and their discussion seemed to be focused around her.

"Maa, seriously," Kakashi said, downing another shot, "if she were anyone else we would be exacting justice right about now. I'd be doing it myself. But because it's her, I just can't."

"Sempai..." Yamato said softly, warning him this may not be the best topic.

"I still can't believe it. Hinata-chan always seemed so sweet and kind," Gai muttered, sounding truly remorseful.

"She _is _sweet and kind," Kakashi corrected, reaching for another drink. "I'm not saying she's a bad person, she's a wonderful girl. I'm saying she's a shitty ninja. Skill-wise she was a perfectly good Chuunin, but personality-wise... She should never have been a ninja. Everyone knows it, that's why no one's really surprised this happened."

"Sempai..."

"But that's the reason we're not doing anything, isn't it?" Genma chewed thoughtfully on the senbon in his mouth. "Because she didn't _really_ try to betray her team, she just..."

"She just got scared," Raidou finished for him. "Because her personality isn't that of a ninja's. Kakashi's right, someone like her was never cut out for this job."

Hinata frowned, not at all liking what they were saying. Was this the attitude most people had about what she'd done? She very suddenly realized the men were standing up to leave, and she dashed off, not wanting to be anywhere near them when they got out. She rounded the corner, putting some decent distance between them and herself, before slowing back down to a walk and continuing her aimless wandering.

"Hey!"

She spun around sharply, instinctively getting in a defensive position. Behind her, two Jounin she recognized but had never had any real contact with glared blearily at her through bloodshot eyes. Realizing they were drunk, Hinata started to slowly back away, carefully planning her escape. There were a number of outcomes she could foresee if she stayed, and none of them were in her favor.

"You're the Hyuuga girl right? The traitor?"

Oh yes, this was very bad. Even if she could defend herself against both of them, what kind of trouble would she get in? Any illegal activities and she'd go to jail. She didn't know if fighting with two ninja technically counted as illegal activities, but she couldn't risk it. She couldn't afford to go to jail right now.

"We don't like traitors," he continued, stumbling towards her. "In fact, we generally teach them a lesson." He started to reach towards her while she stood there frozen, unsure of what to do. "What the hell?!"

Hinata stared stupidly at the man who had stopped mid-stride and realized he couldn't move if his life depended on it. His partner was in the same predicament, and following their shadows along the streetlight, she saw a smirking Shikamaru Nara. "Now now," he taunted. "What have we here? You two big, strong men wouldn't be attacking a young lady now would you?"

"Hey, kid, she's one who betrayed her team. We were just gonna give her what she deserves."

"Oh?" Shikamaru's eyebrows raised slightly. "Interesting, since she's already been punished by the council."

"They didn't do enough!"

"Good thing that's not for you to decide, huh?" He released them from his hold, glaring slightly. "Get lost before I report you for attacking a civilian."

Though they didn't seem happy about it, the two men scurried off, most likely knowing Shikamaru's connection with the Hokage. He watched them go with a frown before turning back to Hinata, his usual bored expression in place. "You okay?"

"Sh-shikamaru-kun. H-hai. I'm fine. Thank you very much."

He shrugged, reaching absently in his pocket for a cigarette. "No problem." After lighting the white paper and inhaling cancerous toxins deeply into his lungs, he narrowed his eyes at the girl slightly, examining her closely. "Walk with me, Hinata."

To say she was surprised by the invitation was an understatement. Hell, she was surprised he'd helped her at all, but as soon as the words left his mouth she scrambled over to his side as they walked through the streets, seemingly as aimless as she had been previously. She watched Shikamaru smoke through about half of his cigarette before he finally said, "You wanna know why what you did isn't technically against any real laws?"

She wasn't sure if he was lecturing her or not, but regardless she was just happy he was talking to her and nodded attentively. He took another drag and continued, "Because usually other ninja, like those two back there, take matters into their own hands. You betray your fellow ninja, you make an enemy of the whole ninja community. You understand?"

She nodded again. This _was_ sounding somewhat like a lecture, though his tone was the same uncaring one as always. "Now you wanna know why only those two have tried to come after you? Or have you figured it out already?"

Hinata bit her lip, staring at her feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world. "I think I might have... I heard something just a bit ago..."

"Hmm? Oh, at the bar, right." She looked up shocked, pale eyes huge, and he laughed gruffly. "I was out for an evening stroll when I saw you eavesdropping on a group of drunk, older men, so I felt compelled to do the same. Of course, I understood when I heard what they were talking about. I would wanna know what people were saying about me too... Anyway, yeah they pretty much said it, but I'll repeat it anyway, just for your benefit."

She wasn't sure she could take hearing what those Jounin had said earlier again, especially from a friend, but Shikamaru was talking in such a bland, impersonal way that she thought it might be all right. Besides, all she had were suspicions, and she wanted them confirmed.

"The reason no one, or almost no one at least, is taking matters into their own hands is because it's you. To be more precise, no one is surprised this happened. You're a very sweet girl, probably the nicest person I've ever met to be honest; but you are _not_ meant to be a ninja. Ninja go on missions with the knowledge they could be injured or killed, that they could be captured and tortured. It's part of the job description. You're just not strong enough to handle that, everyone knows it. I know for a fact you've been told it before."

He took a long drag, crushing the butt beneath his sandal. "Anyway, that's why no one's coming after you. You sold your teammates down the river to protect yourself, but you honestly didn't do it with selfish intentions. No one who knows you thinks you did. You were scared, you panicked. It's a perfectly normal reaction for someone like you. But it's because that was your reaction that you shouldn't be a ninja. You understand that, right? You're not cut out for that, Hinata. I guess it would have been better if you'd realized that years ago, but that's your decision. Or maybe if you'd just stayed a Genin or not gone on missions and worked full-time at the hospital; you were there a lot anyway recently, right? I heard from Ino you've gotten pretty good at healing. Maybe you should have just taken a permanent job there... Sorry, I'm not trying to tell you how you should have lived your life."

Another cigarette was promptly lit. "Some of our friends are angry at you. I guess, in a way, I'm kinda angry too. But really I'm just glad that those ANBU found you, and you, Kiba, and Shino all got back safely. I mean, all eleven of us have gotten pretty close, especially over the past two years or so. I wouldn't hesitate to call you guys my friends. In my mind, losing any of you would have been worse than this. But not everyone looks at it that way. Mostly the girls... and Naruto. Heh, he really shot his mouth off earlier, huh?"

Hinata shivered slightly, remembering Naruto's hateful words. "H-hai. But... N-n-naruto-kun was right."

Shikamaru shrugged indifferently at that. "Yeah, probably. He was being hypocritical though. What you did isn't any worse than what Sasuke did, and he would have given his left nut to get that moody bastard back. He might have left under the guise of avenging his clan or whatever bullshit he was constantly spouting, but in the end it was still all out of selfishness. Hell, he actively attacked his teammate, that's worse than what you did." He sighed. "But then again, none of us can compare to the prodigy Uchiha prince. Not even the Hyuuga princess." He gave her a wry smile, and she was delighted to see that it was genuine.

"A-arigatou, Shikamaru-kun."

"Hey, I'm just telling it like I see it. But seriously, Hinata... you understand what I told you, right?"

"Hai. The reason I'm not strung up in a tree is because I'm weak." She did her best not to sound too dejected.

"That's pretty much it in a nutshell. You do understand, though, that just because you're not being outright slaughtered doesn't mean people are going to be the same around you. At the very least you'll be ignored by most people, if not openly despised."

"O-of course. I know that. I've kn-known that from the beginning."

"As long as you understand. It would almost be better if you could leave Konoha. Then at least you could start over..." He looked at the collar around her neck with what seemed like sympathy. "Too bad."

He ground out his second cigarette and flashed her a very tired smile. "Well, I'm outta here. Hang tough, Hinata, the more time passes the more people will start to treat you normally again... I think. And be careful, all right. Like I said earlier, we were friends, so I don't really want anything to happen to you." Hinata didn't miss the past tense in regards to their friendship. "Look, if I see you on the street or something, I won't ignore you, but... I don't hate you, but I can't pretend I'm not bothered by what you did, understand? Because it does bother me."

"Of course I understand, Sh-shikamaru-kun. Thank you for taking this time to talk to me now. You've truly made me v-very happy."

He blinked, a bit startled, then smiled slightly at the shy girl. "Sure thing, Hinata. You've got a rough time ahead of you, you don't need me making it worse." He patted her head like you would a puppy's and added, "Take care of yourself," before walking away.

She watched him go, feeling like that's all she'd been doing all day, watching her friends walk away from her. Once he was gone, she allowed her hands to clench tightly into fists, the anger taking over. They were being nice to her over this because they thought she was weak? How dare they... How _dare _they! Anything but that! She wished they would come mob her, every fucking ninja in the village, as long as it didn't mean they thought that! She shut her eyes, wanting to cry. Hadn't she proven herself enough in the past? Did they all really still see her as being so weak? Is that why they all believed it so easily? The answer came without her really having to think: yes.

Doing everything in her power to keep the tears at bay, she swiftly made her way out of the center of the village and to the farther away training grounds, hopping into a tree and settling herself on one of the highest branches. Once there, she allowed herself to cry once more, knowing that holding it in would only make it worse later. She knew she had to be strong, knew she _had _been strong so far considering all that had happened, and knew that she just had to keep going. It would all be over eventually, the pain would only last so long. She needed to do this; for everyone.

***

Hinata came to despise the collar around her neck more than she'd ever thought possible. Not because it kept her restricted to Konoha, seeing as how she couldn't leave anyway, but because it alerted all the civilians to the fact that she was a disgraced ninja and only one step above a criminal. That in turn caused severe problems for her no matter where she went. For instance, she found it impossible to get a job, even the most menial ones were denied to her. No one would hire her with that collar.

Then things got even worse when what money she did have became useless. No matter where she went, no one would serve her. She couldn't even buy food, and her rations quickly ran out no matter how hard she tried to preserve them. She could steal the food she needed, but under absolutely no circumstances could she allow herself to be arrested, leaving that option out of the question. The only way for her to get food now was to hunt down small animals that graced the training grounds and eat whatever small amounts of edible plant life she could find. Both of these were becoming more scarce as winter rapidly approached, and she found herself losing weight at a fairly alarming rate, especially since she'd been almost too thin to begin with. Her other option, to search through the garbage for food, was an absolute last resort. She knew if it came down to starving or eating out of the trash she'd gladly do the latter, but she was trying to avoid it at all costs. She was a medic and knew how easily she good get food poisoning from it, and part of her just shuddered at the whole idea. Not because it was disgusting, though it was, but just because all her training from being brought up in a noble family was too strong to let go of. She couldn't even imagine the looks on the clan elders' faces if they saw her picking through a dumpster for dinner.

Two weeks after she lost her life, figuratively speaking, things got even worse when it started to snow. She cursed the white powder that seemed to make everything colder, completely wiped out all edible vegetation, and made her clothes wet with no real way for her to get dry. She used to love snow, thinking it was so pretty and pure and just so much fun to play in. Now she saw the cursed stuff for what it really was, and she damned it to hell where it would melt and never come back. The only solace she found was that Konoha winters didn't generally last too long.

She did her best to stay away from the main part of town. She had absolutely no reason to go there anyway, she couldn't shop, couldn't work, couldn't seek lodging, and for the most part people treated her like crap. As miserable as this made her, she didn't blame any of them for what they did. She knew she deserved it for what she'd done, and she knew they were generally good people. It was still hard, though, especially if she ever happened to see one of her friends. Whenever that happened, her heart broke a little bit more, and she'd run off before they could say anything, assuming of course they wanted to. She never stuck around long enough to find out, too afraid of what it was they might say.

A month after that fateful day found her sitting in a tree, a not completely dry blanket wrapped around her, while it snowed _again_. She shivered so badly she could barely stay on the branch, a horrible, hacking cough forcing its way through her aching throat. She did her best to ignore it, telling herself with false cheerfulness that this was just extreme survival training. But eventually she knew she couldn't take anymore. She was half-starved, freezing, and very sick. She was a trained medic and knew pneumonia when she saw it, even if it happened to be her that had it. She'd had a severe fever for days now and it had only gotten worse, along with the cough that now threatened to rip her lungs out through her throat. She would have healed it if her chakra hadn't been all but dead from lack of food and sleep, along with the fact that being sick sent one's system into chaos. And even so, healing viruses and the like wasn't the same as healing regular injuries. To heal a virus your body had to at least be fighting the thing somewhat, and hers wasn't. No matter how many times she tried to heal herself she got no results, as her body just didn't have the ability to fight it on its own anymore. She needed antibiotics.

She waited another hour or so until full dark before making her way slowly into the village. She hadn't realized until she'd begun to move just how sick she truly was. Her vision swam in front of her, threatening her dangerously with unconsciousness. Only the knowledge that if she collapsed in the street right now she'd probably die kept her going. When she arrived at the hospital she nearly cried in relief. Just a little longer and she'd start feeling better.

Tentatively, she slipped inside, inching her way up to the front desk, ignoring the looks she received from the few people milling around. She told the woman there, who she recognized easily, that she needed antibiotics. What she received in return was a death glare and a sharp tongue telling her that since she was no longer a ninja she would have to pay. Hinata instantly brought out her wallet, still filled with money she'd been unable to spend previously.

The woman sighed and called for a doctor. After what felt like forever, a nurse came out and fixed Hinata with a look of absolute loathing. "I'm sorry, but none of the doctors here wish to treat you. You'll have to go somewhere else."

Hinata's eyes widened in shock. Somewhere else? There was nowhere else, not unless she left the village, which she couldn't do. Stammering horribly she gasped out, "P-p-please, I d-don't n-n-need treatment. I-I just n-need m-medicine. I have m-m-money. P-please. They d-d-don't even h-have to l-look at me."

The nurse seemed completely unfazed by her pleading. With a simple shrug, she turned and began walking away. "Sorry. You'll have to find medicine elsewhere."

Hinata bit her lip, tears trying desperately to climb out for the first time since this had all started. She refused, however, to give the nurse that satisfaction, especially since it wouldn't change anything. With a deep breath, she shakily left the hospital, the cold wind slapping her in the face as she exited. Looking around her wearily, she sunk down to the pavement beside the building, too tired and miserable to do anything else. What should she do now?

Time passed blearily as she slipped in and out of consciousness, her mind no longer allowing her to focus. She knew she couldn't die here, not yet, but there was nothing she could do anymore to prevent it. Without medicine, the chance of this illness sparing her once it had progressed to this stage was slim. And while she could pay for the medicine, no one would give it to her. She truly didn't know what to do.

"Hinata-chan?"

She opened tired eyes and blinked stupidly at the man standing over her. "Oh. Ohayou, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka's eyebrows shot up. Ohayou? It was nine p.m. Was she drunk? "Hinata-chan, are you all right?" Kneeling next to her, he hesitantly reached a hand out to push her hair out of her face. He realized then she wasn't all right, not at all. She was radiating heat like a furnace. No wonder she was so out of it. "Ah, you're sick. Good thing you're right next to the hospital, ne? Come on, let's get you inside."

He reached to help her up, but she pushed his hands away with a gentle smile. "Arigatou, Iruka-sensei, but there's no need. I was already there, they won't give me the medicine."

"You can't pay for it?" Iruka frowned. "Don't worry, I'll pay for you. It's all right."

"Ah, no, I can pay for it." She forced herself to look nonchalant. "They just won't give it to me. Don't worry about it... You should go before someone sees you with me."

Iruka then fully understood what she was saying. They were refusing her service because of what she'd done, and he felt his teeth clench in anger. It was bad enough that everywhere else did it, but they were doctors. Didn't doctors take an oath to help anyone who was hurt, no matter who they were? "Hinata-chan, do you know what kind of medicine you need?"

"Mm, hai. I have pneumonia, so penicillin would be best. If I could get some of that, my body would be able to fight the virus." She yawned, suddenly very sleepy. "Oh well."

Iruka's features set in fearsome determination, he said softly, "Just hang on, Hinata-chan. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

Hinata just nodded complacently, no idea what was going on anymore. Iruka stood and strode into the hospital, walking up to the woman behind the reception desk with a smile. "Hello, I was wondering if Sakura was working this evening."

The woman blinked surprised, before hastily scrabbling for a binder, flipping it open to staff schedules. "Why, yes actually, she is."

Iruka wasn't surprised. Sakura seemed to be here practically twenty-four seven lately. He was beginning to worry she'd overwork herself... again. "Do you think I could speak with her briefly?" His smile sweetened in a way that made the woman blush so badly Hinata would have been jealous. She sputtered something he didn't really pay attention to, and then he waited for a minute before he saw the pink-haired kunoichi striding towards him.

"Iruka-sensei! I haven't seen you in forever!"

Iruka chuckled, mostly because he'd gone out for ramen with her and Naruto just two weeks ago. "The price of being healthy I guess."

She smacked his arm playfully, though the force of it made him stumble. "Speaking of being healthy, are you all right? I have the feeling you're not here just to catch up."

He sighed, lowering his head in shame. "Unfortunately, no. I'm here to ask you a small favor... Do you think you might be able to give me some penicillin?"

That surprised her. "Penicillin? Why? It's certainly not for you."

"No, it's not." He rubbed the back of his head abashedly. "My friend has pneumonia and they refuse to do anything about it. So I was hoping maybe you could..." He looked at her pleadingly.

Hands on her hips, she glared, looking very much like she was the teacher, not him. "Iruka-sensei, you know that even if it's nonaddictive antibiotics, I'm not supposed to give drugs to anyone until I've given them a full examination. I'm definitely not supposed to give them to someone else acting as a go-between."

"Hai, Sakura-chan," he said softly, looking more and more like a whipped puppy.

"However," she continued, making him look up hopefully, "since it's you, I guess I have no choice. But this is a one time thing only. It'll never happen again, understand?"

He nodded emphatically, following her as she stomped towards the pharmacy, grumbling about how pathetic ninjas were at taking care of themselves.

"I'm mostly doing this because I empathize with you. Kakashi-sensei won't set foot in this place unless he's visiting someone else or unconscious," she railed on. "Honestly, I swear he would have died ten times over if I hadn't been around to heal him these past few years." She very abruptly stopped walking, shooting Iruka a suspicious glare. "Your friend isn't him, is it?" Satisfied with the desperate shaking of his head, the muderous gleam left her eyes and she continued on. After he had the bottle of pills safely in his pocket and had said a hearty goodbye to the feisty cherry blossom, swearing again Kakashi wasn't the one sick, he hurried from the hospital, sighing in relief at the sight of Hinata right where he'd left her.

"Hinata-chan." He bent over her, shaking her gently. "Hinata-chan, wake up."

Pale eyes fluttered open, and she smiled sweetly. "Hello again, Irkua-sensei."

Iruka felt his heart break when he looked at her. He'd planned on just giving her the medicine and going, but now that he saw her he couldn't just walk away. "Come on, Hinata-chan, we're going to get you out of this cold," and he took a gentle grip on her arm, transporting them to his apartment.

***

When Hinata truly woke and was aware of her surroundings, she found herself lying on a couch in the living room of a small apartment. She was wearing a large t-shirt and sweatpants that definitely were not hers and had a blanket wrapped around her, much in the same way you'd wrap a small baby. Her body ached with signs of fever, but she could tell that she was already starting to heal, her life no longer in danger. Looking around to examine the apartment, she tried to remember where she was and how she'd gotten there. The place was neat, but not obsessively clean, and the lack of a female touch was obvious, the only feminine thing in the place being her own clothes hanging over the heater to dry. A man's apartment then? Whose? She had never been here before, she was sure of that.

There was the click of a lock and the turning of a knob before the front door opened to reveal a very familiar ponytailed brunette. Hinata's eyes widened substantially at the sight of him. "Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka looked up, surprised by the sound of his own name, then smiled warmly at the girl on his couch. "Hello, Hinata-chan. You're awake I see. How are you feeling?"

Hinata slowly sat up, keeping the warm blanket wrapped around her tightly. It had been so long since she'd felt truly warm. "I'm all right, sensei. Where... How did I get here?"

The man smiled again, removing his shoes and tossing them in a corner by the door. "I brought you here after I found you outside the hospital. Speaking of which, it's about time for your medicine."

Hinata watched dumbfounded as he wandered over to the kitchen, getting her a glass of water and retrieving a bottle of pills from the counter, which he then handed both to her. She took the bottle almost warily, scanning the label with slowly widening eyes. "Penicillin? But... how? At the hospital they wouldn't--"

"I got it for you. You probably don't remember, but when I found you, you said that's what you needed. I convinced someone to give me some for a friend." He shrugged as if it was nothing, but Hinata was near tears of joy. Someone had _helped_ her. "Anyway, I'm going to make you something to eat, all right? It won't be much since I know you're not feeling well, but... well, you need to eat. You've lost a lot of weight."

The girl nodded her understanding as she swallowed one of the pills and sipped her water slowly. She tried to fully wrap her head around her current situation when a tray of food was set on the coffee table in front of her containing a bowl of broth and some toast. It really wasn't much better than what you could get in a prison, but she gave Iruka a smile like it was a five-star feast. It made his heart break a little more. This poor girl had already been through so much in just a month's time. He knew she deserved it and yet... yet he couldn't be angry with her, wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't help her.

Hinata watched the different emotions flit across his face and knew he was having a personal dilemma. He wanted to help her and at the same time was scolding himself for doing so. In the end, his desire to help had obviously won. This wasn't a surprise. He was such a caring, compassionate person, always had been, and he could never stand seeing others hurt. And to him, when he looked at Hinata, all he could really see was his old student, the shy little six-year-old who had first entered the academy. The little girl who had always needed that extra bit of praise because she was so unsure of herself in everything she did. The one who was always so self-conscious and never thought anything was good enough, even when it was perfect. To him she hadn't changed at all.

Personality wise, he wasn't too far off either. She was a little less shy now and a little more sure of herself, but in the end she hadn't changed much in that aspect. However, there was one very big change, one Iruka couldn't see. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she was a seventeen-year-old young woman. And where that little girl had been too weak to depend upon herself, the young adult here now had grown, learned from that weakness. She may be still be shy and unsure most of the time, but she was no longer a child who needed anyone's help. And as much as Iruka's help made her happy, she knew she couldn't continue to accept it. She couldn't stay here.

As she sipped the broth and nibbled at the toast, she watched Iruka shed his flak vest and hitai-ate, leaning back into the couch cushions with a sigh, obviously tired after a day of dealing with young children wielding sharp objects. "Iruka-sensei?"

"Yes?"

She paused a moment, choosing her words carefully before saying softly, "I can't even begin to thank you enough for what you've done for me. As much as I hate to admit it, I easily could have died if you hadn't come along and found me. I'm forever in your debt." He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off with a firm, "However, I'm afraid I have to leave, as soon as possible. I know it's incredibly rude to just take over your couch, eat your food, and then run off but--"

"Hinata-chan, you don't have to leave," he insisted, sitting straight up and fixing her with a hard stare. "You're still sick, and you don't have anywhere else to go. At least stay until your fever's gone."

She paused and for a moment actually considered it. The offer was tempting; very tempting. But she shook her head resolutely and put on her most determined expression. "As much as I would like that, I can't. You and I both know it's not safe for me to stay here. If anyone found out you were helping me like this, you'd be in danger. I'm afraid I can't allow that, not after you've already risked so much for me."

Iruka swallowed hard at that, knowing all too well how dangerous it was to have her there. If word got out, the ninja who had been satisfied to leave her alone before, figuring her suffering was adequate, would come after her and him. And yet... "You don't have to worry about me, Hinata-chan, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Hinata just frowned at his incredibly forced smile. "I'm sure you can, Iruka-sensei, but that's not the point. I would never risk putting someone else in danger just so I could be safe. I could never live with myself if someone was hurt protecting me. Therefore, I'm afraid I have to take my leave."

Iruka watched, stunned, as she disentangled herself from the blankets, stuffed her now dry clothes into her bag, and walked to the door, putting her sandals and coat on. Only then did he realize how wrong he'd been. This was not the little girl he'd once known. This was a strong, capable kunoichi, the kind he'd always known she would be. Why hadn't he seen it before? "Wait!" he called almost desperately as she gathered her things and reached for the handle. "Wait, at least let me give you this."

He rushed to the kitchen and quickly gathered as many food rations as he had, stuffing them into a bag for her. He handed them to her with a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Please, at least take these. I know you can't buy food, and in the winter... I wasn't lying. You really are far too thin."

She gave him a genuine smile at that, taking the rations gratefully. "Thank you, Iruka-sensei... ano... may I ask one more favor of you?"

"Of course! What is it?"

"Well... do you think maybe I could... have one of those blankets? I can't remember what I did with mine, and even if I do find it, with all the snow it will be completely--" Before she could get the word 'soaked' out, a blanket was held in front of her, already neatly folded. She gave another grateful smile and tucked it underneath her arm. "Ah! These are your clothes!"

"Keep them. They're just some old things I sleep in anyway."

"But--"

"Keep them."

She blushed brightly as she buttoned her coat. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

She turned to leave again, but he caught her arm before she could go. "You didn't really sell out Kiba and Shino, did you? At least not the way everyone thinks. There's something more going on here, isn't there?"

He felt her stiffen instantly at his words and a slow flush crept up her neck. "That... I..." How had he known? No one else had even begun to guess at that, none of her friends, not even Kiba and Shino themselves.

He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I'll act none the wiser, but... I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I heard what happened and was upset, then was so caught up with everyone saying how it was no surprise because of your weak personality... I completely forgot why I encouraged you to continue on your path of being a ninja in the first place. Even when other people told you to quit, I told you the opposite because I knew how strong you could really be. And then I hear this and completely abandon you. What a bastard I was. I was so caught up in being appalled with what you supposedly did that I never really stopped to think about it. Because if I had, I would have known that you could never betray your team for any reason. Not you. You'd die before ever hurting anyone, and you've always put everyone before yourself. Somehow I forgot that. Please forgive me."

Hinata felt tears prickle the back of her eyes. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt happier than at this moment. Someone _knew_. Someone _saw her_, saw that she wasn't weak anymore. And while that may have actually been bad for the mission, she really didn't care. Someone truly saw her.

A strangled sob wrenched itself from her throat, and she threw her arms around the taller man in a grip tight enough to leave bruises. "Thank you." Out of everything he'd done for her so far, nothing could have helped her more than this. She needed this, desperately. Needed the reassurance that she could do this, she had the strength to do this. And she'd gotten it. Iruka-sensei knew she was strong enough. And as long as one person knew, one person could see that, she would be okay. She knew she would.

When she pulled away to look up into his smiling face again, he said almost laughingly, doing everything to brighten the mood, "Whenever this mission you have is over, I'll take you to lunch as an apology, my treat."

She couldn't help but giggle a bit. "I'd like that." She leaned forward on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. "Thank you so so much for everything, Iruka-sensei."

"You take care of yourself, Hinata," and she didn't miss the suffix drop. As she slipped out the door, he smiled even more. She hadn't stuttered once the entire time.

* * *

A gold star to Tetsuya9 for reviewing the first chapter! Reviews make me happy, so drop me one if you have the time!


	3. You Can't Pet a Slug

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any song lyrics used. If someone wants to give me Sai, though, I'd be more than willing to take him off your hands.

Warnings: language

* * *

_So tell me  
Tell me that I'm not all alone  
And everything's all right_

**-Story of the Year, _Tell Me (P.A.C.)_**

* * *

Another month passed, give or take a few days, and for the time being, winter was beginning to dwindle. The occasional snowfall would be no more than a light dusting, and on the warmer days the sun would begin to peek through the dreary clouds in the sky and melt the snow on the ground. It was on the warmest yet of these days that Hinata found herself lounging on a now snow-free bench, groaning like a happy puppy when the sun's warm rays hit her face. The last time she'd been so warm was the month prior when she'd spent the night at Iruka's apartment. Now, even though she knew winter wasn't done and this was only a temporary reprieve, a random warm spell, she found herself looking forward to the coming spring like a child looked forward to Christmas.

As soon as the analogy went through her head, she frowned. Christmas. It was only three weeks away, followed up only a few days later by New Years and the large accompanying festival. The village was in full decorative mode and everyone's spirits seemed to lighten more and more as the holidays grew closer. She was actually earning less glares from the villagers who looked her way, and the pleasant, plump woman handing out free samples outside the bakery had even given her one the other day. That had nearly given her a heart attack, and she'd taken it with a horribly stuttered thanks, fearing for the woman's safety if people noticed. Her fears were instantly alleviated when Raidou had come out of nowhere and clapped her on the back, laughing at her reaction before taking a sample for himself. Raidou always had been a sweetheart.

But as happy as she was that everyone was being nicer to her, it made her feel even more depressed in a way. Because even if they were treating her like an actual human, rather than a worm or something equally unpleasant, she knew that in the end she was still alone. At the end of the day, they went home to families and friends, had people they could talk and laugh with. She went to a tree somewhere and did her best to shield herself from the elements. They were having fun buying gifts for those who were special to them for the upcoming holiday. She was forced to watch, thinking about what she would have bought for each of her friends and relatives, wondering what they would have gotten for her. It was really starting to make her sad.

She could definitely say without a doubt that she had never been more lonely in her life. She had always been a quiet child, but even so she enjoyed having conversations occasionally. She was a seventeen-year-old girl for Kami's sake, she needed to talk. She found herself actually having one-sided discussions with birds or squirrels who would come close enough to her. She couldn't help it, she literally had _no one_ to talk to. It was nearly maddening. She knew now why people put into solitary confinement went insane.

With a sigh, she pushed these thoughts from her mind, sitting up and stretching her arms above her head until she heard the joints pop. She was filthy and needed to take advantage of the fact that the weather was no longer below freezing. She needed to stop by the river and clean herself up, a task she both looked forward to and dreaded. She looked forward to it because she was covered in a layer of dirt that made her feel disgusting and was actually starting to give her a rash, not to mention her usually beautiful hair was a pathetic tangled mess. She was dreading it because the water would be like liquid ice, and while it was warmer out than it had been in quite a while, it was still only around forty degrees with a horrible chill in the air.

Shivering already just from thinking about what she had to do, she picked up her bag and started to trudge toward the river, only to be stopped by a pair of ANBU. Blinking stupidly at them, the girl actually wondered if she'd done something wrong and was about to be arrested. She _could not_ go to jail, that would ruin everything.

"Hyuuga Hinata," one of them said in a monotone voice, "you've been summoned."

Hinata chose not to correct him that she was no longer a Hyuuga and instead asked the more pressing question, "Summoned by who?" Surely the Hokage hadn't sent for her; that wasn't part of the plan, not at all. In fact, it went against the plan entirely. So who could want to see her? She didn't dare hope it was time to start the third stage already. Not near enough time had passed for that, right? And yet she felt her heart skip a beat and had to fight hard to keep her face impassive when the man answered.

"Danzou-sama."

***

Ever since she was little and had learned of the massive compounds that were literally underground beneath Konoha, Hinata had been awed by the thought. That there was practically a small underground city was just mind-blowing to her. And when she entered the ROOT compound, her awe was just reaffirmed. The large, dug-out tunnels, the structures built directly into solid rock... it was amazing.

She was so enthralled by what she was seeing, she forgot entirely to be nervous. But when she was brought in front of what was obviously Danzou's personal headquarters, she felt the butterflies come back tenfold. Danzou. She'd only seen the man on occasion, mostly when he was talking to her father about council matters of some sort, but she'd never liked him. The man's aura had always seemed thick and black. His presence had always been disturbing, and apparently when she was much younger he'd actually made her cry just by coming near her. She couldn't remember this, but it didn't surprise her. The man screamed 'evil.'

Now she found herself standing in front of him, defenseless to his gaze, nearly shaking with apprehension. She didn't like this. Not one bit, but she couldn't let it show... Instantly, she chastised herself. She had to let it show somewhat, if not it could blow her cover completely. She wasn't supposed to be able to hide her fear.

"Hyuuga Hinata."

She quaked a bit at the sound of her name, before clearing her throat harshly. "H-hai, Danzou-sama, th-that's me. B-but I'm no longer a H-hyuuga."

He smirked a bit at that, and she knew he enjoyed thoroughly how the Hyuuga heiress had turned out to be such a disgrace. "Of course, how could I forget. Just Hinata then. You've been relieved of all duties as a ninja because you betrayed your team." He chuckled lightly. "How dishonorable."

Hinata lowered her eyes and did everything in her power to look utterly ashamed. Quite the feat when all she wanted to do was beat the man in front of her to a bloody pulp. How dare this bastard talk to her about honor.

"Now look at you. All alone with nowhere to go."

She bit her lip and feigned away fake tears. Vaguely she wondered if he would be taking such pleasure from this had she not been from the Hyuuga main house. She doubted it, but for all she knew this sick old man enjoyed harassing young girls until they cried.

"Such a shame. But don't worry. I'm here to offer you a new home. I heard you're a competent medic. Is this true?"

Hinata nodded vigorously, forcing a hopeful look onto her face. "H-hai. I t-t-trained under Sakura-s-san, the Hok-k-kage's apprentice."

"Ah, the pink-haired girl. Good enough, you can be of use no doubt."

Hinata felt irritation on behalf of both the Hokage and her friend. Good enough? Tsunade-sama and Sakura were the two best medics in the village. Where the hell did this prick get off talking like they were merely adequate?

"I'll give you a place to live here and three meals a day. In exchange you'll be a medic for my subordinates and do any other domestic tasks assigned to you. Understood?"

She almost laughed. A medic and a maid, huh? Well, whatever it took. "H-h-hai. Th-thank you, Danzou-sama. I'm g-greatly ind-debted to you." She bowed more times than she could count to her 'savior' while he just waved her away like she was nothing. Arrogant jerk.

The ANBU who had never left her side, led her away from Danzou's office and to a small room. "This will be your personal quarters. You may do with it as you wish. You are not permitted to leave the compound without permission. Furthermore, if you are granted permission, you are not permitted to talk about anything you see or hear inside the compound. You are to follow any and all orders given to you by the ROOT members, and you are never to question your orders. Failure to comply in any of these areas will result in your immediate death. This will be your only warning."

Hinata nodded quickly to show she understood and the ANBU finally left her. She entered her room, looking around to take in her surroundings, surprised that she got a room all to herself. She'd been expecting something more like a group barracks with rows of bunks or something, but then again, that might encourage socialization too much for Danzou's liking.

A single bed was up against the right side of the wall, a small table with a lamp next to it. Against the left wall was a desk and chair, and next to that a small closet, hangers supplied. Beyond that there was nothing, but Hinata couldn't have been more glad to finally have a place _inside_ where she could sleep. In a _real bed._ With a contented sigh, she flopped down onto said bed, allowing herself to close her eyes and just relax for a few minutes. It felt nice.

As much as she wanted to just let herself fall asleep, there were things to take care of first. Important things. Starting with checking the room for bugs. She meticulously went through every nook and cranny of the small room, checking for any such devices. What she found was a microphone to pick up any sound she made and a device that measured the degree of chakra used within a ten foot radius. The microphone was taken care of easily with a simple jutsu that dampened sound around it, making it seem like the room was silent. Even if she screamed her loudest, it would never pick it up as long as she stayed at least a foot away.

The chakra device was more difficult. She couldn't turn it off, nor could she trick it into thinking she wasn't using chakra when she was. What she could do was raise its tolerance level, and a much more complex jutsu did just that. Now it would only pick up her chakra if she used a large amount of it, something she couldn't do anyway without attracting unwanted attention (she was surrounded by ninja after all). This left her free to use a wide range of jutsu completely undetected. First and foremost: summoning jutsu.

The little slug, the smallest of all her summons thus taking the least amount of chakra to call, appeared with a poof onto her upturned palm. She smiled gently at it, wishing for what had to be the millionth time that you could pet a slug. Well, you _could_ pet it, of course, but it brought no pleasure to the animal and it only left your hand sticky. So she settled for a smile and soft voice.

"Hello, little one," she whispered as she sat down at the desk, pulling a blank scroll to her and grabbing the ink and pen setting there at her disposal. She scrawled a hasty note and tore off that part of the parchment, folding it several times so it could be easily transported by the tiny animal in her hand. "Take this to Tsunade-sama."

This particular summon didn't talk, but Hinata always seemed to just _know _when she was understood, almost like the creature was nodding without any actual movement. After that feeling passed, the animal poofed away again, and Hinata absently wiped the small spot of slime it had left behind onto her already filthy jacket, smiling at the words of the note. 'Second stage complete.'

***

Hinata had never been inside a group shower before. Given the fact she was from a noble clan, the main house at that, it really wasn't a surprise. The closest she'd come to one was visiting the hot springs, but that was very different from the ROOT showers. Hot springs were a luxury, and since your body was underwater and/or wrapped in a towel the majority of the time, you weren't exactly exposed to everyone's eyes. In the group showers of the ROOT compound, there was no privacy. None whatsoever, just rows of showerheads lined along two walls. Like a prison shower. And Hinata suddenly found herself very, very self-conscious.

It wasn't that she thought she had a bad body. Quite the contrary, she knew she was decent-looking, had seen the way many of the boys her age looked at her. But she was a shy person by nature, and truth be told her... chest... had always been a bit of a sore spot for her. She was quite well-endowed in that area, and while civilian girls would kill for a chest like hers, she was a shinobi. All her breasts ever ended up doing was getting in the way. She would wrap them every morning before training, try and get them to flatten and be as unobtrusive as possible, but they were still always so... _there_. It was awkward, especially when she sparred constantly with two boys, and they'd actually inhibit her movements on occasion when performing certain taijutsu maneuvers. And that was when they were wrapped and hidden beneath a baggy coat.

Now she was in a shower with at least half a dozen other women, completely naked, and they were there, on display for everyone to see. She tried to subtly cover herself as she washed, simultaneously trying not to peek in almost curiosity at the other females around her. Human nature made her want to compare herself to them. And just her luck, she did indeed have the biggest set in the showers. Dammit. Why couldn't she have a nice-sized pair like Sakura's or Tenten's? Not flat, but easily covered up and not in the way. Even Ino wasn't as large as her.

She was thankful none of the other women even glanced her way. At first she thought they were just used to showering like this all the time, but the longer she was in there, the more disturbing things seemed. At first she didn't know why, but then it hit her. With the exception of the running water and movements from the kunoichi, it was dead silent. No one said a word. Now Hinata may never have been in a group shower before, but on countless occasions in numerous situations had she been with a group of women, ranging from just a few to many. On every single one of these occasions, regardless of what exactly the women were doing, there was always some kind of chatter. They were women, it's what they did best: talked. Hell, even guys talked quite a bit when you got a group of them together. But this silence... it was weird.

Totally unnerved, Hinata finished cleaning herself as quickly as possible, removing herself from the hot spray and dressing swiftly. She wanted to get out of there. She would rather be back in her room, alone, if she was going to be surrounded by such eerie silence. She was in such a hurry and so lost in her thoughts, that she slammed right into a passing figure, literally knocking herself off of her feet.

Now on the ground, the girl blinked, surprised to find herself there. Quickly stuttering out an apology as she stood, she nearly jumped when she heard, "Hinata-san?"

She stared up at the person she'd bumped into and gasped. "Sai-kun."

In reality, she probably shouldn't have been surprised at seeing the newest addition to Team 7. She'd known the pale boy was a member of ROOT, had found out not long after meeting him over a year ago. But there was something absolutely shocking about seeing someone she knew fairly well in this... place. Even if it logically made sense, she couldn't help but be surprised.

He gave her that fake smile he was so famous for, the one that always made her cringe a little inside, and offered a hand to help her up. "It's good to see you."

Whether he was actually somewhat pleased to see her or he was just saying that as a formality she didn't know. She'd always found it difficult to read him. "It's good to see you too." And she actually meant it. It had been forever since she'd really talked to someone she knew, and she found herself desperate to have a conversation; even if it was with the socially inept artist. "Do you come here often?" Wow, great way to start it off.

Sai's smile just stayed perfectly in place, and he answered, "Not as often as I used to."

"Oh." She suddenly realized she was still sitting on the ground, and his hand was still in front of her. She blushed madly and took it, letting him pull her to her feet, taking note of how taut the sinewy muscles were underneath his skinny frame. "Sai," she started slowly, not sure how to word this without sounding insane or needy, "would you mind... speaking with me?"

The smile faltered and one delicate brow rose on the pale forehead. Hinata knew instantly this meant he was confused. She hadn't spent years on a team with Shino and living with Neji without being able to decipher quiet, seemingly emotionless people well. Sai was just usually more difficult because he really _was_ nearly emotionless. But he had been trying to learn.

"I thought we were talking."

And he still had a lot left to learn. Heaving a small sigh, Hinata thanked Kami for her limitless patience. That one oblivious comment alone would have set Naruto off yelling and Sakura hitting the raven-haired boy over the head. But Hinata generally took the calm, non-violent path to any solution. Besides, it wasn't fair to blame Sai for his emotional ineptitude. Not when he'd been raised in the same environment as those women back in the showers. Really, compared to them, he was a social butterfly. "Yes, we are talking, you're right. What I meant was, would you mind going somewhere and having a long conversation with me?"

"Ah, I see." The smile was back. "What would you like to discuss?"

She waved a hand absently. "Whatever you want."

And he was confused again. Rubbing her temples for a moment, Hinata looked him straight in the eye and said, "I know this may seem strange to you, but I'm lonely. I just want someone to talk to."

She expected the smile to come back full force, and for him to either accept or decline. She didn't expect the penetrating stare, the way his lips parted slightly, eyes shining with what was definitely an emotion but one she couldn't figure out. "Lonely?" He practically whispered the word, almost as if to himself.

"Yes, lonely. I... haven't had anyone to talk to for a while." She studied the ground, fingers pressing together in a very old habit. "I'm sure you don't understand."

"No," he said quickly, firmly, "I understand." And his tone left no room for argument. "Shall we proceed to your room for our discussion then?"

The words made a bright blush break out across her face, but luckily she was able to keep it somewhat under control. Her room? He wanted to go talk in her room? Just the two of them? Alone? Her Hyuuga upbringing reared its oppressive, ugly head, and she imagined the looks of her father and the elders if they found out she'd been alone in her room with a boy. She could already hear their voices, lecturing on how inappropriate it was, how she was the heiress of Konoha's oldest clan and needed to behave as such. Dear Kami, they'd nearly had a fit when she'd had _Neji _in her room. She had been scolded by her father the next day and told if they were in there alone then she needed to keep the door open. Neji's own room was right down the damn hall! And she didn't even want to think about the one time she'd had Kiba over.

Sai studied her face closely, trying to figure out why she looked so horrified. And yes, he was sure that was what her expression meant. Had he said something wrong? "Is there a problem?"

"N-n-no. J-just... wou-wouldn't that be... inappropriate?"

Sai blinked. "Why?"

That made her pause. Why indeed? This wasn't the Hyuuga compound. There were no elders to impress. She wasn't even the heiress any longer, she had been disowned. If she wanted to have a friend in her room to hang out and talk, she could. Hell, if she wanted to have a friend in her room so they could fuck like rabbits on viagra, she could. There was nothing standing in her way. "Never mind, everything's fine." She looked up at Sai and flashed him a rather daring smile. "Let's go to my room." And she took his hand to lead him there.

Sai stared at his own larger hand enveloped in hers, a bit surprised by the sudden contact. He was still bad at understanding others' actions, girls especially. Sometimes they'd be all over you, hugging you, holding your hand, hanging on your arm. Then the next day if you made any move to touch them, even just putting a friendly hand on their shoulder, they'd act like you were trying to engage in sexual intercourse with them and get very upset. In short, they didn't make sense, and Sai had learned to be wary of physical contact with them.

With Hinata, though, it seemed okay. He hadn't talked to her one-on-one much, but he had gone on outings with her in large groups on numerous occasions. She always seemed more grounded than the other girls, less likely to have her mood do a complete 180 without warning. Though he had been warned by Kakashi-san that all girls were crazy, especially during the teenage years (something that made him glad he preferred men), Hinata seemed just a little less crazy than most. And her need for physical contact at the moment made sense. After all, she'd said herself that she was lonely.

Pulling the pale boy into her room, Hinata closed the door firmly behind her, mentally picturing it slamming in her father's face. _Take that, old man! _Then she turned to Sai with a sickly sweet smile, making the boy wonder if she was really all right. "So, Sai... no rules about fraternization here?"

Sai blinked slowly, greatly resembling a lizard with the action. "Fraternization?"

"Yes. After all, ROOT seems like a strict organization. You're not breaking any rules by being here, right?"

His eyes widened just the tiniest bit, and Hinata took this to mean he understood what she was getting at. "Oh. No, there are no such rules. They are not usually necessary. In ROOT, sex is used only for interrogation purposes or to gain possible allies, not for pleasure. Since no one attempts to seek it out, there is no reason to create rules preventing it."

Well, that made sense. Somehow she wasn't surprised that the women she'd encountered in the shower never felt the desire to have sex. Or personal contact with another human being for that matter. She was still trying to convince herself they were in fact real people. But then something else came to mind. "Sai, I can understand that, but what about you? You aren't like the other ROOT members anymore, right? Don't you ever... you know... feel attracted to someone?" If this had been anyone else she was talking to, Hinata would have been blushing and stuttering like mad. And that's only if she'd managed to gain the courage necessary to bring it up at all. But with Sai, blunt, emotionless Sai, even this topic didn't bother her. And she just couldn't stop her curiosity.

Then something amazing happened. Something monumental that would go down in the history books. Hinata was discussing sex with someone, with a completely straightforward, unembarrassed demeanor, and the _other person _blushed hard enough to turn their whole face red. And when a blush took over Sai's pale complexion, it really took over. For a moment, Hinata was afraid he might actually faint. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I never should have--"

"No, it's fine." The boy regained his composure quickly, face as blank as ever but skin still tinted pink. "I was simply unprepared for the question, that's all. Why did you want to know? Do you wish to engage in acts of a sexual nature?"

And that sent Hinata's calm composure to an early grave. Sai seemed unaware of the effect his words had as he studied the girl closely, eyeing her up and down in a very critical way. He still did prefer men to women, but there were some women he felt he could have sex with. Hinata was a sweet girl and very pretty. He'd take her over any of the other girls in his group of new friends. Ino was pretty in a fake, made-up sort of way, Sakura always seemed to try too hard, and he just never felt any real attraction towards Tenten even though he knew she was fairly good-looking. Hinata, however, was naturally pretty, never tried to make herself look good, and, in his opinion, had a better body than all of the others. If she wanted to have sex with him, he felt he could comply.

"Th-th-that's n-not what I m-m-meant! I-I just wanted to kn-know bec-cause you're regaining your emo-o-otions. I was just curious that's all!"

There was an uncomfortable moment where they stared at each other, not saying anything. Until Sai finally stated, "You stutter when you're flustered," and Hinata couldn't help but reply with a deadpan, "No shit."

And from there the conversation flowed easily, even if Sai couldn't always comprehend what Hinata meant. Never again was there an awkward moment between them.

* * *

Tetsuya9

BLACK-OP1

lilithkibou

Hinata's Heart

disneyrulz23

Big thanks for your reviews!


	4. New Emotions

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. If someone wants to give me Sai, though, I'd be more than willing to take him off your hands.

Warnings: language

* * *

_"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning."_

* * *

**Chapter 4: New Emotions**

_Hinata looked down on the silent Hyuuga compound from her place on the hill above. It had gotten so much easier over the years to sneak in and out of her home. Something she was and always would be eternally grateful for._

_With a sigh, she turned and dashed off into the trees, running along until she reached the small lake she'd been heading towards. This place was so beautiful, especially at night. The water was so calm and clear. Stripping down to just a tanktop and shorts, she shivered a bit in the chilled night air, stepping onto the water's surface and slowly making her way to the lake's center._

_Looking down at her reflection she saw the round moon hanging overhead, nearly the same shade as her pale eyes. She studied the picture for a moment before her eyes slid shut, leaving her in complete darkness. Without the burden of sight, her other senses took control, her hearing magnifying to catch the slightest sounds, smell becoming more aware of the varying scents on the crisp air, touch feeling the cool water at the bottom of her feet, the wind blowing lightly through her fingers, and her chakra stretching out to explore her surroundings, giving her a kind of sight her eyes could never match. _

"_Byakuugan." _

_Taking slow, deep breaths she began to move through the motions of the gentle fist technique. The movements were done at first in an almost mechanical way, having been drilled into her since she was a small child; they weren't clumsy, far from it, but neither were they as graceful as when many of the other Hyuuga clan performed them._

_Then the movements changed. As the girl began to perform Protection of the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms, they became a dance. A quick-paced masterpiece that no one else could hope to match. This jutsu was Hinata's creation. It was _hers_ and no one else's. Others had tried, but no one could dance like her. No one._

_Faster... faster... FASTER!_

_Another presence made itself known, and she let the jutsu drop, Byakuugan searching for the source of unknown chakra, hand reaching for the kunai tucked in the waistband of her shorts._

"_Well, Hinata, I see my information was correct. That was quite impressive." _

_The Hyuuga heiress blinked in surprise, fingers releasing their grip on the blade, kekkei genkai slowly deactivating. "Tsunade-sama." _

***

A week passed and Hinata easily fell into the boring routine of life in the ROOT compound. And it was very, very boring. Most of her time was spent cleaning, something she'd never had to do much of living as a Hyuuga main branch member. Not that it was hard; she was shown once the proper way to do it and she did it. It just felt pretty bad knowing that all her hard work training to be a ninja was now worthless. At least for the time being.

On occasion, someone would come back from a mission with an injury. Hinata knew it was horrible to wish harm on other people, but she really couldn't stop hoping more ROOT members would get hurt so she could heal them more often. Because it was the only thing she could do that actually made her feel worthwhile. And if she didn't keep practicing she would get rusty. It was that fear which made her spend all her free time at one of the secluded training areas, beating up practice dummies, going through katas, meditating. She refused to let her shinobi skills go to waste, she knew she would need them again in the future, but it was frustrating to train and not be allowed to work to your full potential. Because she never knew if someone was watching. And she had to keep her cover.

More than wanting to go all-out in training though, Hinata wished she had someone to talk to. She had tried on several occasions to start conversations with some of the ROOT female members near her own age, but that had always led absolutely nowhere. She hadn't seen Sai since that first day a week ago, and she found herself craving his companionship. It was no surprise she hadn't seen him, he'd said himself he barely came to the underground compound anymore, but she had really enjoyed the time she'd spent with him. Admittedly that was probably because he was the first person she'd talked to in months more than the fact that it was him but still. It's not like he was bad company. He really did try and be friendly, and she couldn't help but think his cluelessness was kind of cute. Still, she knew in the back of her mind that she probably wouldn't see him for a long time. That's why she was shocked when he knocked on her door a week after their first meeting, fake smile in place.

"S-sai-kun."

"Ohayou, Hinata-hime."

Hinata's lips twitched into a small smile at the newly given nickname. Sai had slipped into it during their last conversation, and Hinata very much doubted he'd even realized he'd done so. She wasn't sure what exactly had prompted the artist to give her that specific cognomen, but there were multiple reasons she could think of. Quite often she'd been called the Hyuuga princess, both as an insult and as an endearment, as Shikamaru had done not long ago. Generally, she found she wasn't too fond of it since it made her sound like a spoiled brat (and the Hyuuga had always preferred her sister to her anyway), but when Sai did it... well, it was Sai. Besides, compared to the other nicknames the pale ninja had given people (Naruto as dickless, Sakura as ugly, and Chouji as fatty), she was more than happy to have him call her princess, regardless of its exact meaning. "Ohayou. It's very good to see you again. What brings you here today?"

"I was hoping we could have another discussion."

_Yes! Hell yes! _"Of course. Come in."

Sai slipped gracefully into the small room, immediately taking a seat on the bed which creaked beneath his weight. Hinata sat next to him, unable to hide how happy she was that he was there. "Did you need to see Danzou-sama for something?"

"No. I came to see you."

She froze as the words ran through her head, shocked at what they implied. "You came all the way down here just for me?"

"Hai." The fake smile dropped away to be replaced by his usual blank face. "I thought you would be lonely again. Seeing as I had no prior engagements today, I decided I would visit you."

Hinata blushed and had to restrain herself from throwing her arms around his neck and hugging the life out of him. "Arigatou."

"There was also something I would like to ask your advice on."

"Oh?"

"Hai. I was told that for many years you had an infatuation with dickless."

Any and all blood in the kunoichi's body rushed straight to her face. "R-really now? And, uh... who told you this?"

Sai smiled. "Everyone."

_Great_. And to think at one time she'd actually thought she hid her attraction well. She would call her younger self naive, but that really didn't cut it. Now that she was gone, the others were probably all making fun of her for it, getting a good laugh out of her stupidity. "Yes, I had a crush on him for quite some time. Why do you ask?"

Instead of answering, though, he countered with another question. "You said 'had'. Does this mean you no longer wish to copulate with him?"

Hinata laughed lightly, but her face was nearly purple by now. "Sai, at the time I barely knew what copulating was. But no, I no longer like Naruto that way... at least not how I used to. I mean, if he did ask me out, I'd probably say yes. Not that that would ever happen..." She glanced over to find the boy staring at her fixedly, as if trying to solve a complex puzzle. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Several reasons. Mostly because I want to know how you knew you had 'a crush' on him." He fixed her with the same blank stare as always, but a light pink tinge covered his cheeks. "I have read about it in several books, but I found them inadequate at explaining the symptoms of love appropriately. I wish to know how I can find out whether what I'm feeling is lust or... more."

Love? "Sai... do you think you might love someone then?"

"Hai." His eyebrows drew together in perplexity. "It is a most confusing feeling, or rather, multiple feelings. I'm finding it very difficult to sort it all out. That's why I was hoping you could help me."

Oh boy. Why her? "Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask someone else? Maybe Sakura-san?"

Dark eyes bored into her skull. "Ugly would just hit me."

Well, that was true enough. Still, she wasn't sure she was the best person to give advice on love. She had only ever 'loved' one person, and while it had been very real, it had still been a child's love. And she had never even gotten up the nerve to tell her love how she felt. How could she help anyone with this? "Ano... I still don't think--"

"Anything you tell me will be fine. I am at quite a loss right now, and you are the only person who will both listen and not yell at me."

Way to guilt her into it. "I guess I could try..." She took a deep breath, steadying herself. It wasn't like he was asking her for the answer to the meaning of life here, he just wanted some help with his emotions. It was good he was trying to learn. "I think the reason the books didn't work well was because love affects every person individually. There is no set reaction. For me, when Naruto used to get near me, my heart would speed up, it would get hard to breathe, my stutter would get worse, I would blush..." She glanced over at the enraptured boy. "But I'm a very shy person, and you... you're not. Why don't you tell me what _you_ feel that you think is love."

Sai nodded and thought for a moment before answering, "First of all, I know I am physically attracted to him. That is more of an instinct than an emotion, I believe."

Hinata silently agreed.

"I am very comfortable around him and enjoy teasing him and seeing his reactions, more than I do other people. I enjoy spending time with him more than anyone else. When he is happy, I am content."

Hinata nodded to each of these things, thinking they were good and definitely indicated a strong friendship if nothing else. But that was just it, was there anything else? These things were nice, but--

"And when he touches me, even if he just brushes my arm, I feel my stomach get warm. I like it very much when he smiles, and I like it most of all if he smiles at me. I sometimes have to restrain myself from reaching out to touch him. The need to feel physical contact with him is stronger than anything I have ever felt. I can't stop thinking about him, even when he is not there. And I want to protect him, always, more than Sakura or Yamato-taicho. More than anyone."

Ah. "Sai, I'm not the best with these things, but that definitely sounds like love to me."

The boy blinked, as if he'd forgotten she was there, then turned to her slowly. "Really?"

"Hai." She mustered up the best smile she could because he was looking unsure of himself, like he didn't know what to do with this new information. "So... who is it you like?"

His eyebrow shot up in confusion. "I already told you."

_When?_ "Ano... no, you didn't tell me."

He seemed to be reviewing their conversation in his head before nodding and agreeing with her. "You're correct, I did not. I was under the assumption it was obvious I was referring to dickless."

Oh, so Sai liked Naruto. That made sense, Naruto was a great guy, attractive, outgoing, funny. He was also the first person to really try and reach out to Sai, however clumsy some of his attempts might have been. And the way they argued constantly but were still obviously close... Yes, it all made sense.

"Should I consider you a rival for his affections, hime?"

A... what? Really? She tried to keep herself from laughing, seeing as how Sai was dead serious, but it was this very earnestness that made it all the more amusing. She ended up doubling over in a fit of giggles, clutching her stomach as she tried to catch her breath. "No, Sai... You definitely don't have to worry about that. Even when I was head over heels for Naruto I couldn't work up the courage to tell him. I certainly wouldn't make any moves now."

Sai nodded, satisfied with her answer, when he said, "I have another problem I would like to ask your advice on then."

"Yes?"

He looked right into her eyes, deep, black penetrating orbs. "Dickless is male."

A snigger escaped her at the statement. _Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh_. "He is indeed. Is that a problem?"

"Not for me, I prefer males..."

Hinata watched the way he looked away from her, obviously distressed. Or at least as distressed as Sai could be. After a moment, she put the pieces together. "You're worried Naruto will never like you because you're a man."

A small nod. "He has expressed similar notions on several occasions. Told me before he... 'doesn't swing that way'."

Hinata understood better now, and she frowned deeply. "He told you that? He's a liar."

Sai blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He's lying if he said he doesn't swing that way. I know for a fact he swings both ways. Why do you think he was always so keen on getting Sasuke back?" She sighed and shook her head. Stupid boys. Could never just admit to their feelings. "Also, he and Kiba got together briefly after getting drunk at Neji's birthday five months ago. Niisan and I caught them together... in my room."

Sai didn't seem to know what to say to that.

"I thought it was funny really. Neji... he wasn't quite so amused. Especially when Kiba asked if we wanted to join and then tried to grope me..." She slowly turned bright red at the memory. "B-but I digress. We were t-t-talking about y-you."

The pale shinboi's brain worked hard to try and process the new information he had just been given. It never used to be a problem before, thinking things through and then acting accordingly, but the more in touch he became with his lost emotions the more difficult it became to think clearly at times. Times like now, when his stomach was fluttering in that odd, uncomfortable way and his pulse had sped to a rapid pace. Excitement, that's what this was. Excitement and something else he wasn't yet familiar with. Apprehension, perhaps? He would have to check his books later. For now...

Sai fake-smiled in exactly the way he'd come to realize Hinata hated and said the one thing that was sure to rile her up. "You're stuttering again, hime."

The flash of opal eyes and hardening of the usually soft face didn't fail to disappoint him. And as petty bickering ensued, Hinata was reminded of just how unique her new friend truly was. Because only Sai had the ability to purposely start an argument with someone and feel infinitely closer with them afterwards. He was the only person the Hyuuga knew who you loved more _after_ he thoroughly pissed you off.

***

Dark hair fell around the girl like a curtain as she bent low over the desk, pen scratching hastily over paper. 'Contact with Smiling Man. Possible ally. No movement detected.'

She frowned, hesitant for just a moment, before deciding that the code name would have to do. The only other one she could think of was 'Artist' and that seemed even more obvious. This was at least a bit discreet.

Hands flying through the familiar signs, the same tiny slug popped into existence before her. Smiling and whispering a few encouraging endearments, she gave the little summon the paper, watching wistfully as it popped away again, wishing she could do the same. At least she wasn't so cold and hungry anymore. Her mood brightened a bit as she recalled the 'Smiling Man' who had been to see her just yesterday. At least she wasn't so _lonely_ anymore.

There was suddenly a harsh rap against her door, making her jump in her seat, eyes widening fearfully. Shit, had she been caught?! No. She forced a deep, cleansing breath, willing herself to calm down. No, that was doubtful. Even if someone had managed to feel the small fluctuation of chakra that jutsu caused, that didn't mean they would know which jutsu it was. It could have been one of the simple cleaning jutsus Danzou's subordinates had taught her themselves. She shouldn't be worrying yet.

Schooling her face into an expression of slightly concerned curiosity, she opened the door, peeking out at the ROOT member standing there, purposely avoiding eye contact, and not just to help keep her cover as a weak, shy little girl. It did always genuinely disturb her to see the dead, hollow look the ROOT members' eyes had.

"Hyuuga Hinata. You've been summoned by Danzou-sama."

Once more, the girl didn't bother to correct him and say she wasn't a Hyuuga. She gave him a trembling nod, the trembling not all fake, and scurried to follow his quick pace to Danzou's... office-thing. She didn't really know what to call it.

It was as she approached the heavily-bandaged man that she prayed to Kami she hadn't been caught. For several reasons. First of all, this was a mission of the utmost importance, she knew that. She had been the one sent because, quite frankly, she had been the only option. If she failed, there was no one else. The same trick wouldn't work twice anyway. She was it, and she couldn't fail. Second... well, she wasn't afraid to die, that wasn't it, but she didn't believe for a moment that Danzou would simply kill her were she found out. And no one in their right mind _wanted_ to be tortured, whether it be for answers or simply to fulfill an old shinobi's sadistic needs.

The man turned his familiar scowl on her and she flinched before she could stop it, his presence just so... overwhelming. No wonder she feared him so much as a child. "Good, you're here. I have need of your services."

From the way he was speaking, it didn't seem she had been caught, and it took all of her willpower not to sigh in utter relief. Her services... he likely needed a stain removed or, if she was particularly lucky, an injury healed. She could handle that.

Movement on her left caught her attention, and she let her eyes subtly shift in that direction. Letting her fists clench to show her surprise so her face would not, she realized she recognized the man standing there. He was a shinobi, a jounin, though she couldn't for the life of her remember his name, had she ever known it. She was entirely sure, however, that he was the ambassador to Konoha from Kirigakure, the one who had been sent after a very tentative treaty mostly involving trade rights had been signed with the other village not six months ago. What was he doing here, with Danzou?

The ROOT leader's visible eye shifted to the younger man, whole posture radiating boredom. "Well?"

Hinata watched as the foreign shinobi stepped forward, a smug smirk playing on his lips. He was looking her up and down as if she were a piece of livestock for sale rather than another human being, and his eyes... His eyes had a look that shook her to her very core. Hungry, greedy... lustful. Her stomach began a series of rapid backflips as she began to realize just why she had been called there. Which services it were that Danzou required.

"A Hyuuga? That's awfully high-class of you."

Danzou's response was a disdainful snort and an off-handed wave, his attention already wandering elsewhere. "She's a disgraced shinobi, a disowned Hyuuga, and a coward who should never have been allowed within the Konoha ranks. I trust, however, she meets your requirements."

"_In ROOT, sex is used only for interrogation purposes or to gain possible allies, not for pleasure."_

Possible allies. A foreign shinobi.

Hinata felt her nails dig into her palms nearly hard enough to draw blood when the ambassador chuckled lightly and shot a lecherous grin her way. It took every ounce a strength she had not to attack when he forcefully grabbed her chin and wrenched her head up.

"Big breasts and a pretty face. She'll do just fine."

* * *

Oh God! The story isn't dead! That's right, kids, I updated (though it is rather short). This particularly story isn't as easy to write as some of them, so it's slow in coming. I really do apologize, but I swear I haven't abandoned it completely. I'll keep typing away, and hopefully the next chapter will come a little faster this time. Patience is a virtue!

And in response to Hinata seeming perhaps a bit OOC from the manga... well, this Hinata is a little older, but the biggest difference is that this Hinata has finally gained some real confidence in herself. You know how awesome she would be if she stopped being so self-conscious. So if she ever seems a little off, it's because that's what I'm going for.

Tetsuya9

BLACK-OP1

lilithkibou

Hinata's Heart

disneyrulz23

Maerchen Freunde

Katseng

Tantan

airee-aria

Typewriters in the Attic

Peace-Love-Yaoi

Thank you for reviewing!


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